In 2005 David Foster Wallace gave a speech that would change how I thought about everyday life. I wasn’t there to witness it but luckily it lives on in recordings and text. I found it so important that I listened to it every day in the shower for a month straight.
I have inserted a link below to check it out. I highly recommend it.
“I am happy you exist” – Joe Rogan to Andreas Antonopoulos
Today I was rewatching the JRE podcast where Joe interviews Andreas Antonopolous when Joe said that.
It hit me. What a powerful statement…
In a world where hatred and doubt are prevalent in most people’s daily life, the expression of love and gratitude is a breath of fresh air.
This feeling/expression carries a force that can move metaphorical mountains. It is truly important in the function of society. When you share it, it has the ability to spread love and joy into the hearts of those you care about.
This topic of love and gratitude has been written about endless times. For that reason I won’t expand upon it here.
But I do have a request:
Today, take the time to tell someone that you appreciate them. If you’re really up to it, tell someone that you’re happy that they exist.
It will be uncomfortable. This sort of expression is not normal in day to day life but it could make an impact that you could have never anticipated. So open up your contact book and find a few people that you want to share this with. It could be a spouse, a sibling, or even someone you haven’t talked to in a while.
It’s important that this act isn’t because “you never know when something might happen”. This needs to be from a place of true love and appreciation. This is not an act rooted in the fear of missing out. It’s a step in the direction of practicing actively sharing the love you feel for others.
Writing sometimes brings out ideas and connections that I hadn’t previously been able to come up with. It’s almost like magic. I will start on an idea and while I’m typing I suddenly connect dots between topics. I really love it.
Not only does it produce ideas and thoughts, it allows me to better express and document them. You wouldn’t believe how surprised I am with myself as I look through old drafts of posts or Tweets. It’s like I’m reading a book that I forgot, but it was written by me…
Writing also allows me to fully focus on something. When I write, I lose myself in my screen and the keyboard in front of me. Even as I type this I can’t seem to think about anything else other than the next sentence. It is this odd “flow” of sorts that I haven’t been able to find anywhere else.
With that said, I also hate writing. Not necessarily the process itself (although that sometimes sucks) but publishing my works.
Truth be told, no matter how much I tell myself that I don’t care what others think, when I am about to hit publish a sudden rush of anxiety comes over me. I know that the consequences of someone not liking my work isn’t going to necessarily impact me or my happiness, but it’s still difficult.
I want my name to be on a piece that is smart and insightful. I want someone that I admire to read it and feel a connection. It’s not why I write, but there is a part of me that wants that.
However, this anxious feeling is why I started this blog. I felt that the only way to get over it would be to go through it over and over until either it goes away or I get good enough at it that I’m truly happy with what I am putting out. I am unsure that either of those things will happen.
I write because I want to get better at writing. I enjoy the state that it puts me in. I selfishly hope that my thoughts and ideas resonate with others and may help them. Besides, what’s the downside?
You want to be successful, but what does that mean?
Is it having money?
Is it the accumulation of material things?
Is it being popular?
The 4HWW was the first piece that changed my definition of success. Tim states, “$1,000,000 in the bank isn’t the fantasy. The fantasy is the lifestyle of complete freedom it supposedly allows.”
This made me think, is money what makes someone successful? I don’t think it is.
But if one million dollars won’t make me successful, what will?
For a while I thought it was happiness. To be honest, this is a good metric. I still use it to this day. I’ve known for a while that I would much rather be happy than have money. While it isn’t the best measure of how your life is going, (see “Happiness vs. Healthiness”), it often leads you in the right direction. Eventually I learned that people can be happy and still miss out on a large part of what life has to offer. I still place a large importance on it when evaluating success, but it isn’t the only measure.
So if it isn’t happiness, what is success?
Truth be told, my definition changes every day. While it generally is guided by happiness, health, and love, it’s slowly evolving as I run into more people that I admire. I don’t think that success has a set definition. It’s a combination of the traits that come together to contribute to a “good life” (whatever that means to you). To me, it’s improvement. It’s resilience. It’s the ability to stick to your values and live in a way that makes you feel accomplished.
You may believe that it’s money or material items or popularity. Maybe to you it is! But I encourage you to really take a look at why you value what you do.
Do you value money because you physically enjoy having money? Or do you simply enjoy the security that it brings to your lifestyle?
Do you value material items because they truly make you happy? Or do you enjoy them because you think that it will make others think highly of you?
Do you value popularity because having people like your instagram post really improves you life? Or are you just addicted to the dopamine hit you get each time you see that someone liked you post?
Now I would be remiss if I didn’t note that money and things and popularity do add value to your life.
With money you can purchase things and be secure and have a roof over your head and food to eat and pay for life-changing experiences.
Material things can bring you enjoyment and make your life easier. They can provide you with a sense of accomplishment and signal your values.
Popularity is important in today’s society. Although this is rooted in the fact that we evolved from a time where this was essential and society has changed since then, it is still valuable. It can provide you with support and a real sense of community.
I’m not saying that these things aren’t valuable. I’m saying that maybe they shouldn’t be how you measure success.
In his speech This is Water, David Foster Wallace states, “If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It’s the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you.”
Will the things that you worship be your demise?
Where you place value determines where your goals lie and how you act. In part, it determines how your life will go.
Take a real hard look at how you measure success. If you achieved it, would it make for the best life that you could live?
KNOWNASAUSTIN 